5th Runner Up:
A San Anselmo, California man died yesterday when he hit a lift tower at the
Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad. The
accident occurred about 3 a.m.. He and his friends hiked up a ski run called
Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from the ski towers. The pads
are used to protect skiers who might hit the towers. The individual dies when
he crashed into a tower that he removed the foam pad from.

 4th Runner Up:
A man was being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to
call the Police he grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked
out  without paying for it. Police found him unconscious in front of the store
and paramedics removed the six inch weiner from his throat, where it had
choked him to death.
 
 3rd Runner UP:
A poacher in Spain, shot a stag standing above him on a overhanging rock and
was killed instantly when it fell on him.
 
 2nd Runner Up:
A man at a West Virginia party tried to detonate a blasting cap inside of
an aquarium by connecting it to a battery. He could not ingite it so another
man removed it making the comments "I'll show you how to set it off". He then
put it in his mouth and bit down on it triggering an explosion that blew off
his lips, teeth and tongue.

 1st Runner UP:
Doctors at a Portland University Hospital said an Oregan man shot through
the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive. He lost his right eye
during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants
Pass, Oregan. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow
entered his right eye, narrowingly missing a major blood vessel which would have
killed him instantly. It passed through 8 to 10" of brain with the tip exiting
the back of his skull. The initiation stunt is under investigation.

 Last Years Winner:
Went to a fellow who was killed when he attached a JATO (Jet Assisted Takeoff)
to his Chevy Impala and shot himself at 300 MPH into the side of a desert cliff

 This Years Winener(s):
Goes to two gentelmen in Washington State, who decided to attend a local
Metallica concert at the local Amphitheater. They had no tickets (but 18 beer),
and decided it would be easier to hop over the 9 ft. high fence. They pulled
their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for the first guy, who
was 100 lbs heavier, to hop over and then assist his friend. Unfortunately there
was a 30 ft. drop on the other side of the fence. After he hopped over he
found himself crashing through a tree and his fall was abruptly halted by a
large branch which snagged him by his shorts, Dangling from the tree with one
arm broken, he looked down and saw a group of bushes below him. Figuring that
this would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and cut away his shorts
to free himself. He fell below into the Holly bushes. The sharp leaves
scratched his entire body, and without his shorts he was the unwilling victim of a
holly branch penetrating his rectal cavity. To make matters worse, his pocket
knife proceeded to fall with him and landed 3 " into his left thigh.
Seeing his friend in pain and agony, he threw him a rope and decided to pull
him up slowly be attaching the other end to the back of a pickup truck,
however he put the truck in reverse instead of forward. He crashed through the
fence killing his friend when the truck landed on him. He himself died from
massive internal injuries as he was thrown 100 ft. from the truck. The police
found the first man dead under the truck with a branch sticking out of him, a knive
in his thigh, and his shorts dangling 25 ft. above from a branch.

 Congratulations, gentlemen.
 
             A safe worker is a productive worker.
                   Robert Strachan   (364-4936)
                            TR01RCS1